Are you shy, or are you an introvert or a quiet person? There are certain things that make you who you are and ways through which you can overcome them and be a better person.
You Are Always Late
Showing up late to a party may be a good idea since you can easily blend into the background. That strategy however makes it harder for shy people to get comfortable.
People at the event are already talking and chatting and have formed subgroups and bonds, making it more harder to break into that kind of conversation.
Introductions are easier with just a small handful of people, so you can get the conversation flowing by the time everyone else arrives.
You Have Difficulty Starting A Conversation
Shy people often don’t strike up conversations because they don’t know where to start. You can however kick things off by commenting on something in your environment, a movie you’re lining up to see or the floral arrangements at the wedding you’re attending. Starting simple opens the door to a deeper conversation.
You Try To Always Avoid Saying Something Stupid
Being shy doesn’t always mean you have nothing to say; it just means you’re not saying it. If something might sound stupid, shy people mostly keep their mouths shut.
Sharing a story of a similar experience you’ve had or asking follow-up questions shows you’re trying to connect—and that’s what conversation is all about.
You Plan Conversations Ahead
People who are uncomfortable in social situations tend to rack their brains for conversation topics before heading to an event. You might find yourself mentally rehearsing how you’d talk about weekend plans, current events, or other subject.
Although, practicing small talk can calm your nerves,it is best not to overthink it so you don’t get flustered if the script in your head doesn’t pan out. The more you rehearse, the less fluid and comfortable you’ll be in your own skin.
You Wish You Talk More
Introverts or quiet people aren’t necessarily shy, and the difference comes down to comfort level. Introverts may not be nervous in social situations; but may prefer smaller groups or quieter settings.
The fact that you don’t talk much doesn’t mean you are a shy person, it could be that you choose your words more carefully.
Shyness, on the other hand, is more closely related to social anxiety. If you are shy, you probably want to be more social. Shyness isn’t a character flaw, but if you don’t learn how to control your shyness, it will start to control you.
You Feel Alone Most Times
If you have trouble mingling with people, chances are you have told yourself that you are an introvert. Shy people usually think they’re alone and that nobody else is shy but them, and no one else in the room is miserable.
This is however false as experts estimate that about 40 percent of people consider themselves shy. People around you are probably feeling awkward and you may want to consider taking charge.
Start by introducing other guests to each other. Once you master the art of introductions, you’ll look like the charming “social facilitator” who brings people together.
It Takes You Time To Feel Comfortable Around People
You may feel nervous when you first arrive at a party, but you’d most likely come out of shell once you’ve gotten into the groove of a conversation. To help yourself warm up, you can plan ahead.
Leave your house early enough for you to arrive early and figure out parking and other logistics. This will ensure that you don’t feel flustered when you walk in.
You Take Alcohol To Loosen Up
People think if they drink, they can be less shy and they can be more social. This is however false. While alcohol might dull your anxiety, it will inhibit your thinking which will actually work against you.
No matter how nervous you are, stick to moderate drinking to keep your mind clear. Don’t start using booze as a crutch. Never assume that you can’t be social without a drink in your hand. and assuming you can’t be social without a drink in hand.
- Normal everyday human uniquely different in an everyday manner, a young man that strongly believes in the African project. I'm a mixture of science, arts and politics. I can be engaged on twitter @Africanbingblog