You know those cute words you normally hear? Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Love knows no distance. If you’ve ever been in a long-distance relationship, you know those sayings are definitely not as it seems.
That’s because long distance relationships or LDRs are widely known to be the worst. Physical absence is terrible and living in different time-zone can be a nightmare. Plus, eventually you have to confront the fact that one of you will have to move to make the whole thing work.
It however isn’t all doom and gloom. According to a 2013 study published in the Journal of Communication, Couples in long-distance relationships do report feeling emotionally closer to their partners than couples who didn’t have to deal with distance.
This is partly due to the fact that, in lieu of physical intimacy, long-distance relationships often involve sharing more of yourself. In other words, when you’re apart, you have to try harder—and that translates to a stronger relationship than if you were in the same place.
To keep the distance from driving you apart, here are a few tips to make the whole affair less torturous.
Interact Regularly But Give Each Other Space
Talk every single day, but don’t push it. Respect the fact that sometimes you are both busy and that’s totally okay. You and your partner can chat every day and Skype during the weekends.
While talking regularly is super important, you don’t have to be crazy about your video calls schedule to the point where phone dates are becoming a burden. Remember to live your life in your own city, as that is essential for personal growth.
Share The Little Details
Sharing the small and inconsequential things that happened to you is very important as it has the ability to make the other person feel included. This can spur intimate connection since those small things are little things that you will normally share over dinner.
Make In-persons Visit Important
Make every visit a special occasion. Whether you’re able to manage visits every other week or every other month, having them on the calendar in advance will give you something to look forward to, especially when the distance becomes frustrating.
Set Your Expectations And Re-evaluate As Necessary
Long distance relationships can make you terribly anxious since you are almost always thinking about the other person and if things will work out despite the fact that things may actually be going on well.
A lot of the time, it’s the separation itself that is probably creating seeds of doubt, not your partner. It’s important to keep in mind that the absence itself is an important component of the relationship, not just a minor detail. Long-distance relationships are definitely tricky, but preparing yourself for the challenge can help.
If there’s no intended end in sight, then you need to re-evaluate what’s keeping you in that relationship. Don’t torture yourself if the distance is taking too much of a toll on your happiness.
Be Open And Sincere About Your Feelings
In a long-distance relationship, communication and being willing to get a little vulnerable are key to maintaining a level of closeness. Express how you feel—’I miss you,” I wish you were here,’ ‘I miss us having lunch together,’ etc. Be strong. It’s difficult, but it is definitely something that can be done.
- Normal everyday human uniquely different in an everyday manner, a young man that strongly believes in the African project. I'm a mixture of science, arts and politics. I can be engaged on twitter @Africanbingblog